How many times per day to we say "I'm sorry"? I began to do it again...
Some time ago I would often start and end my conversations with the word “sorry” — sorry for bothering you, sorry for the bad news, sorry this issue came up, sorry for asking questions. Lately, I found myself slipping back into that old habit.
How we set our mind ie, mindset...
Me, I have a tendency to care too much. I cared too much about people’s opinions and what members thought and it showed in the way I felt around others. So I started to follow a few simple steps this I think will help as we all have a tendency and can run in all of us.How I catch and then break the "I'm sorry cycle" It took time to master I am constantly vigilant, but it works and it gives power to who we often feel they need to apologise for the way their anxiety makes them feel and behave. But all you are doing is excusing your anxiety, and reinforcing that it is something you are ashamed of.
I’m now not sorry for many things anymore and I’ve certainly stopped apologising for being me as most of you know i am a bit straightforward.
Never apologise for your anxiety Those who are anxious, especially around others,
I can tell you first hand, it is not serving your best interests or anyone else. To recover you must be with who you ar"OK" right now, it will help you accept where you are so you can get to where you want to be. Constant apologising and explanation of your anxiety only reminds you that it has this control over you, it helps give it the power to exist.
You have to get it set in your mind, your anxiety needs no apology, it never has and it never will.
Stop looking for their approval for the choice you’ve already made. If you feel you must, say ‘no, I’m busy then’, or ‘no, I’m not able to’. But that should be it, don’t be shaky about it (I like straight talk, don't you?) Stop going on in great detail because you’re worried that you’ve not given them the answer they were looking for. Or worse, you've offended them. Have confidence in your convictions and whatever you do, don’t apologise afterwards for your choice.
It’s time to put it This into action
As with any habit, it becomes subconscious and ingrained. You’ll find you apologise or say "a sheepish "i'm sorry" without even thinking and therefore it can be difficult to break. It takes a little practice to be mindful of what you are saying, but never underestimate the power of your own words upon your mind. Our words are our world.
If what I’ve been speaking about, sounds a lot like you, then set yourself a little challenge.
Here is what I would like you to do..
no apologies, no explanations, unless it was clear that they were needed. ( not on assumptions), If I wasn’t certain then I’d ask, and guess what, 95% of the time they were not offended at all! Eventually, unless it was obvious then I wouldn’t say a one word, this is being made about by our own mind. It’s time to stand up, be strong and trust in who you are. This is affective several elements in your progress in the LBA.I have not found a hateful person here in the LBA so I don't think any of you will lose any friends. You may even notice that they’ll actually start to respect you more and this will only further boost your self-esteem.
The 5 Day Challenge
For 5 days consecutive days stick to the following two guidelines:
- Do not apologize to anyone for anything you say or do. Sorry is only needed if you have done something really wrong and know the other person is upset – if you’re not sure, then take it that you’ve done nothing wrong. Do not assume!
- Only answer yes or no to any questions, or give specific answers where necessary. Never say anymore than you need or try and explain your choice.
It’s time to stand up, be strong and trust in who you are. This is affecting you in more ways than you could possibly realize.
I promise, as long as you’re a decent person, you’re not going to lose any friends. In fact, you may even find that people actually start to respect you more and this will only further boost your self-esteem and resolve in following the LBA principles and life in general.